Marie Antoinette: Serial Killer

[Reading] ➳ Marie Antoinette: Serial Killer ➻ Katie Alender – Let them eat cakeand dieColette Iselin is excited to go to Paris on a class trip She’ll get to soak up the beauty and culture and maybe even learn something about her family’s French rootsBut grue Let them eat cakeand dieColette Iselin is excited to go to Paris on a class trip She’ll get to soak up the beauty and culture and maybe even learn something about her family’s French rootsBut gruesome murders are taking place across the city putting everyone on edge And Colette keeps seeing a strange Marie Antoinette: PDF \ vision a pale woman in a ball gown and powdered wig who looks suspiciously like Marie AntoinetteColette knows her popular status obsessed friends won’t believe her so she seeks out the help of a charming French boy Together they uncover a shocking secret involving a dark hidden history When Colette realizes she herself may hold the key to the mystery her own life is in danger.Marie Antoinette: Serial Killer

Katie Alender rhymes with “calendar” grew up in South Florida She is the third of four children three girls and a boy and the child of three very loving and encouraging parentsShe attended high school at the Palm Beach County School of the Arts studying Communication Arts From there she went on to Marie Antoinette: PDF \ the Florida State University Film School which led her to her current hometown a tiny ham.

Marie Antoinette: Serial Killer eBook Ç Marie
  • Paperback
  • 304 pages
  • Marie Antoinette: Serial Killer
  • Katie Alender
  • English
  • 02 February 2015
  • 9780545468107

10 thoughts on “Marie Antoinette: Serial Killer

  1. says:

    Let's be honest nobody dives into a book by the name of Marie Antoinette Serial Killer expecting a masterpiece I didn't expect much and I was let down anyway Even for purely entertainment purposes it still failed The mystery is laughable the character is a Speshul Mean Girl wannabe and the attempts at character development are completely artificial and forced For a book with such a silly premise it failed to elicit even a smile from me The entire book was absurdOur initial meeting with Colette gave me a bad lasting impression of Colette that never entirely went away The spoiled entitled selfish Colette is bemoaning the loss of her family's money her parents' oh so selfish divorce and her annoying little brother's mere presence She is now in relatively abject poverty meaning her mother has to actually get a job working shitty shifts at the perfume department at Macy's and she is now a scholarship student at her prestigious all girls' Catholic school where Colette has been hiding her newly poor status and still trying to maintain the façade within her Mean Girls cliue But wait there is one bright point in her sigh wretched existence Colette is going to Paris France Before going she browses through an old family suitcase and finds this awesome medallion with an engraved key which will TOTALLY go with her new vintage Parisian trip wardrobeThat's right her mother has been scrimping and saving every penny so that her ungrateful daughter can have her much longed for Paris school trip Oh and Colette is going to abandon her mother to go live with her father in fa bu lous New York this summer instead of shitty Ohio but she'll tell her mother that little detail later after she gets back from ParisIn Paris a crime spree has been taking place Beautiful glamorous but really despicable I honestly don't blame Marie Antoinette one bit people have been dying left and right Cause of death? Decapitation The descriptions of the deaths which are not at all gruesome not at all violent are interspersed through the descriptions of Colette's beautiful trip to Paris where she has been eating delicious French pastries visiting the Louvre hanging out with a hot university student tour guide and keeping up the pretense with her rich as bitches girlfriends She uncovers a family mystery and must solve the key to the murder hint hint And who will unlock her heart? It is the boy next door guide Jules Martin Pronounced Zhool Mar tahn or the strikingly gorgeous fabulously felineArmand He was strikingly mythically gorgeous like a lion that had been turned into a human He had sparkling golden eyes and waves of honey colored hair Like rawr Giggles Whoops looks like we have a potential love triangle hereThe GoodThe plot and eventual investigation into the murders is utterly laughable and secondary to the beautiful Parisian scenery complete with visits to the Eiffel Tower the Louvre Chateau Versailles The setting of Paris itself doesn't feel so much like Paris as a foreigner's idealization of it Everything is beautiful spectacular and so French Well we are in France after all Everything is adorable uaint right out of a traveler's guide It is pretty It doesn't feel real Even the small family dinner hosted by Jules feels too idealized too perfect to ring trueDon't get me wrong it's very pretty It's very romanticized But it doesn't bring the setting to life because nothing feels real The setting could have come straight out of a Rick Steves' guide to ParisThe BadThe Frenchmy French is not perfect but the insertion of French phrases in this book is so ridiculously elementary It could have come straight out of my French 101 textbook “Je te supplie” Moniue blubbered “Je te supplie Rochelle” The mystery is laughable how it is investigated completely violates the border of credibility I'm not talking about the fact that Marie Antoinette couldn't possibly have been a serial killer because well no shit Sherlock I'm not talking about that kind of credibility I'm talking about how a teenager in a foreign land can wander around without supervision whose weary teacher pretty much lets her do whatever she freaking pleases The plot itself is so secondary to the romance and Colette's desperate desire to keep up appearances The supernatural elements in this book are completely without tension completely without intrigue I expect ludicrousness of a book in this nature but if you're going to make it a murder mystery fucking do it rightThe UglyOne word ColetteMan what a bitch I completely hated Colette She doesn't know what she wants to be and honestly her character feels like the author wrote in a Mean Girl character but decided to randomly insert a few redeeming character traits to make her human and relatable such as having her be in the Academic Games at one point in her life It doesn't work Colette is wishy washy She's a total jerk to her well meaning and eager to please mom to her weary and sick of her bullshit little brother to one of the nicer girls on the trip Audrey a black girl whose Afro according to Colette looks like a 7 year olds'Colette hangs with two Mean Girls one is nicer than the other who are completely lacking in any dimension Her cliue exists solely to make Colette look good in comparison and it works to an extent Hannah is probably even worse than Colette if that's humanly possible; she is a size zero beautiful rich spoiled girl who is manipulative to the nth degree and has had everything in her life handed to her on a silver platter Pilar is the prereuisite tagger on the doormat friend the DUFF She is the daughter of a has been Latino pop star who struggles with her weight and is forever a Size 10 and has a tendency to stress eat Hint she hangs out with Hannah There's a reason why the scales don't budge There's a lot of weight shaming in this book coming from Hannah Hell I felt bad about myself and I'm nowhere near fat Poor PilarColette is pretty despicable There's an attempt at humanizing her in the second half of the novel which comes on far too uickly to be a believable part of character development And let's not mention her completely pathetic effort at manipulatingbuilding friendship with the truly nice Audrey “The reason I came here ” I took a deep breath “I have an idea You know how I said we weren’t really friends? Well what if we were friends? If you come hang out with me for a while maybe we can like bond And then when we get back home I’ll totally be your friendBut she just laughed“Colette that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard Why would I want to hang out with someone who treats me like dirt? So I can make people think I’m ‘cool’?” She punctuated the word with air uotes and started to turn away shaking her head “I think spending so much time with Hannah has actually made you crazy”“Wait” I cried “Don’t you wish you could improve your social status? This is your chance” standing ovation Suck it Colette

  2. says:

    5 Words Creepy mysterious ghost Paris friendshipI have to be totally honest this isn't the best book in the world In fact I probably wouldn't have liked it at all if I'd read it at any other time But right now it was exactly what I needed And because I am completely inconsistent in my ratings it gets four starsIt's full of clichés and spoiled brats and trips around Paris and hidden histories and an evil ghost Usually this sort of crap makes me rage But I found that I could completely fall into this story become completely immersed and suspend disbelief The evil murderous ghost on top of the ever so slightly over the top plot probably helped a lotWhat drew me to this book was the cover and the title I mean look at those pretty colours and that killer title I'm like a freaking magpie I pick up anything prettyHannah is the biggest bitch to have graced the earth and Colette is a very close second The two of them are so shallow so spoiled Even now that Colette is a poor scholarship student she is still so up herself But not so up herself and self important as Hannah Jeez that bitch deserved to be playedI liked how Colette changed and did some much needed growing up I even liked how terribly predictable the whole story isThis books is as fun and fluffy and teenteenteen as it looks Don't take it seriously and don't expect to read the best thing ever and you won't be disappointed You might even have fun Perfect for a rainy day when you need to rage a little to cheer yourself up

  3. says:

    Before beginning I'd just like to point out that anyone who willingly takes home a book entitled Marie Antoinette Serial Killer knows exactly what they're getting into Please do not bemoan the lack of historical accuracy ridiculous plot or poorly drawn characters this thing with its epically awfulhysterical cover art is the pinnacle of truth in advertising I am craptastic it proclaims Hear me roarOnly really it's of a whimper The fatal flaw of MASK is its utter inability to have fun with itself its insistence on wrapping its cotton candy plotting around a moral journey that doesn't uite work particularly given how unlikable the protagonist is and continues to be throughout the novel When one lacks depth the only thing to do is brazen things out with cheek and Katie Alender seems unable to do so falling back instead on fabulous Parisian settings and an utterly weak attempt at a love triangle It's shocking that a book full of decapitations could have this little bang for its buck but perhaps that's not surprising in a narrative populated with Hollow Men and WomenOn a slightly serious note it is a bit sad that Alender can't mine the French Revolution an era of history so thick with horror it still reeks of blood two centuries on for anything better But let's not fool ourselves We knew what we were getting Recommended for anyone who can enjoy a Syfy original movie because this is pretty much the literary euivalent

  4. says:

    At the tender age of sixteen Colette Iselin’s life is ruined Her father left the family taking his money with him The lifestyle changes that abounded devastated her Mom was forced to get a job constantly taking on additional shifts just to make ends meet Their house lost; Colette along with her younger brother and mother sueezed into the tiniest of apartments Colette must keep her disastrous crash from wealth to the poor houseerr apartment a secret Her friends do not hang out with the destitute The wildly popular beautiful and ridiculously wealthy Hannah is always uick with that reminder Rather Colette is reduced to sneaking off to thrift stores to acuire her wardrobe for her Paris Spring Break with her friends and classmates A greater teen age tragedy is hard to imagine Waitwhat? You aren’t really feeling her pain She seems whiny superficial self centered and immature? Yes I thought that too Admittedly I found this surprising Generally speaking these are not traits best suited to creating mass appeal for the main character of a Middle Grade mystery InterestingThe reader doesn’t meet Colette first though A spine tingling wickedly original murder in Paris kicks this story off and it pulled this reader right on in Have I mentioned the murderer? Marie Antoinette A simply fascinating woman in history; the idea of her ghost committing grisly murders at an apparently obscure time is intriguing There does appear to be a method to her madness and Ms Alender unravels this mystery beautifully While Colette and her classmates tour and learn the history of the City of Love and Lights from their charmingly demure remarkably learned French college student; young rich socialites are dying in bizarre accidents that result ultimately in beheading As the narrative unfolds Colette realizes that she may have something in common with the victims She begins to piece together the puzzle and focus on a much larger picture Almost as if truly opening her eyes for the first time Colette also begins to see things about herself; her choices and her friends There is a discernible shift the pace uickens the plot thickens I love what Ms Alender has done here In addition to giving us an enchanting distinctively different middle grade ghost story murder mystery; she courageously presented the most authentic representation of today’s “typical” teen ager as our main character To me it amplified the significance of Colette’s self discovery and revised outlook uite brilliant I think Romance is mandatory when an adventure takes place in Paris; there may even be a law Again Ms Alender is spot on This is a fantastic book for the avid reader and it would most certainly piue the interest of a reluctant reader Yet another Middle Grade read that I hope will not have a limited young readers only audience I know I will be reading from Ms AlenderThis review was written for Buried Under Books Blog

  5. says:

    5 Words Family friendship privilege history deathBook Review Marie Antoinette Serial Killer by Katie AlenderWhen I first read this book I was uite scathing and bitchy about the main character and honestly? Thank god I've now worked through my internalised misogyny and can appreciate this book It's a fun book easy to read with a great thread of murder and mystery and ghosts oh myMarie Antoinette Serial Killer is a book of pure escapism

  6. says:

    Marie Antoinette Serial Killer was an interesting mix of history and reality blended together to create a murderous and mysterious readFirst things first I would like to make it clear that this book is not a horror story From someone who absolutely hates scary books and movies the title is the scariest thing about the book Unless you get the cover with the blood on it then maybe that’s intimidating than the title Anyway Marie Antoinette Serial Killer is not a particularly scary book and doesn’t contain much gore either It’s just a mystery with a few beheadings along the way nothing too extremeOne thing I didn’t like in Marie Antoinette Serial Killer was that Katie Alender would have chapters that showed the murders taking place in Paris While Collette knew of these murders as a reader you knew than her by seeing them firsthand Whenever the reader knows than the main character it can be hard to relate to their problem solving because you already know what they are trying to figure out I end up feeling impatient and frustrated with the main character when they have to take time to figure out what I already know It can be a real test of patience when you’re waiting on the main character to get on your level and put two and two togetherThe character development in Marie Antoinette Serial Killer added a lot to the story I enjoyed reading about the progress Colette made as a protagonist Without giving too much away Colette really became an individual as the story progressed At first she could be very frustrating and annoying but after time we began to see her change in a positive way This development helped to improve the book towards the end as it’s hard to read an entire story with an annoying narratorMarie Antoinette Serial Killer was a nice change as I don’t read too many YA mysteries these days but if you’re looking for a complex mystery where some serious sleuthing is reuired to solve it then this probably isn’t the best fit Regardless it was a cool read that kept me entertained JOriginally posted at wwwjustonechapterca

  7. says:

    I'm just gonna go straight to talking about what I thought of this book For sure it wasn't as spooky and eerie as Alender's other books all of which I've read but it was divinely an enjoyable and fairly easy read And that's the perfect kind of book for the summertime is it not? In Marie Antoinette Serial Killer I have not only learned about how to deal with an angry ghost who wants to kill you and everyone in your family which I'm not so sure will come in handy actually but I also learned about friendship and love Alender taught me what true love really is and how to tell the difference between fake friends and real friends This really was such a great book and I think a lot of people will enjoy it

  8. says:

    5 stars Loved it Read it in one night Much better story than the title would suggest The characters had surprising depth to them Love this author and her previous books too

  9. says:

    I was so nervous about this book Why? Call me a doubter actually don't it's not nice but most of my Goodreads friends had rated it 2 stars and several people told me it sucked That's not the best intro to a book BUT Look at the cover Go on Scroll up and look at it It's gorgeous Coupled with the fantastic premise I loved it I did I'd happily recommend it to everyone As is I've shoved it in Mime's face and told her to read it or I'll chop off her head What? It is about Marie AntoinetteSince the book takes place in Paris I'm doubly in love with it I want to see Paris so badly It's a uiet or loud depending on the day and how much chocolate I've sneaked obsession of mine Reading this was just like going to Paris The description is so sensory and detailed But not in an overloading way It's a snippet and a snatch Realistic details I approve I tasted the food Walked the uneven cobbles Tasted the food The food sounded delicious DID I MENTION THE CROISSANTS? Characters? Colette is a fantastic narrator I really related to her She's the a chameleon friend in a border line mean girl cliue I loved how she had mean girl tendencies but deep down inside she was just plain nice Plus although her friends were a waaay over the top with their fashion Colette had a really sweet blend of caring about her appearances but not being over the top It's nice not to have Looking Nice slammed There's a bit of a mean girls cliue happening Let's face it Colette's friends are awful But I understood her need to be with them Being friends with super snob Hannah made Colette cool by default Buuut Hannah treated her like dirt I loved how the author wove in unhealthy friendships with the coolness of Paris and the horribleness of a serial killer on the loose Is that not a perfect combination? Yes yes it is Writing? Very neat very nice It's not wordy and slow Très bon See? SEE I used French The murders were sufficiently creepy Every few chapters we get an omnipresent sneak peek at what the serial killer is doing Can I just say kind of creepy? It wasn't Neal Gaiman or Dan Wells freak my brains out but it was definitely enough to keep me turning pages Fast It's like a glitzy murder Half chick flick half everybody is getting their heads chopped off So why'd it lose a star? There's no real cemented reason By all means this is a 5 star read Personally I didn't connect with it on an OH CHEESE AND SPRINKLES FSDJKLA;D level which is okay I also had a few problems mainly the Bonny Sunshine and Rainbows ending It was a little too neat Real life rarely sorts out so well unfortunately and I felt that detracted from how realistic everything had been her French tour guideboyfriend's lectures I honestly thought he had no right to lecture her on her friends Sure he was right but he'd known her for one week Colette had known her friends for years You don't just waltz into someone's life and pretend you understand everything ASAPThis is totally a book I love owning And looking at Gorgeous cover And uotingimage error

  10. says:

    I was SO excited about this book Like seriously excited I love Katie Alender she is just the sweetest and I loved the Bad Girls Don't Die series so much I was just sure there was no way a book with the name of Marie Antoinette Serial Killer could be bad I mean it's Paris and murder and revolution and powdered wigs right?Well I was wrongIt was pretty awful By the way this review will have high levels of spoilers and rage fitsSo the concept is alright girl goes on a trip to Paris and finds out her family was part of this secret society that betrayed Marie Antoinette and now her ghost wants to kill everyoneYeah cool If it didn't feel like it was written by a thirteen year oldLet's start with the main character The girl you are supposed to LIKE and RELATE to She is a whiny shallow no personality little teenager If she's supposed to be so smart and all that why the HELL does she spend every waking hour wondering if her best friends are gonna like the way she dresses talks and acts? That is MAJOR turn off for a protagonist Also how DUMB is she? For the love of God I knew what was going on in the first 20 pages of the book and this girl took the whooole thing to put the easiest pieces together Oh look it's a chick in a powdered wig wearing the exact symbol I'm wearing I wonder if that meeeans anything JESUS CHRISTNow I don't know what kind of high school experience Katie Alender had but unless she ACTUALLY went to school with Regina George where the hell did her inspiration for Hannah came from? This is a girl who LITERALLY is evil Like a poorly written villain you know? She is just nasty because she is nasty And she's like MOVIE CLICHÉ nasty with lines like oh my god do you seriously think being poor is fun? You better watch it I'm gonna ruin your social life JESUS CHRIST AGAIN The whole book is impossible to believe because every dialogue feels like it was pulled from a 90's educational teen sitcomAlso this book doesn't feel like it's set in Paris It feels like it's set on what a romantic american teenager would like Paris looks like It's all cafés and fancy people and cobbled streets and everything is so FRENCH and awesome Has the author ever even SEEN France or just postcards of itThe entire book SCREAMS life lesson It's all about teaching little girls to be themselves and not mind what everybody thinks if you want your book to convey a message hey that's cool with me Just do it with a little subtlety Colette spends the whole book being shushed by Hannah and then it's like You know what Hannah? You are mean and I hate you and I will never do what you tell me again I'm not even kidding she pretty much says these wordsAs for the male interest How about keeping us a little ON EDGE miss Alender? There are two boys one who is a TEXTBOOK DOUCHE just like Hannah saying stuff like I don't care if I don't marry someone I love as long as she is beautiful and has pure blood insert evil laugh here Holy shit REALLY???And then there is the most STEREOTYPICAL FRENCH DUDE EVER He's aloof he's kinda handsome but not movie star handsome HE'S A FUCKING TOUR GUIDE he knows all about Paris his family owns a little restaurant where they all eat and live and just are french the whole time And for the piece de resistance THIS IS A FRENCH DUDE FROM PARIS WHOSE FAVORITE SPOT OF THE CITY IS THE EIFFEL TOWER AT NIGHT Way to be romantic my friend Did you have to elbow forty tourists in the face to get the private moment of your first kiss? I bet you diiid Lover boyThe whole thing feels like an excuse to have a teenage girl go to Paris for a week with her nasty friends If that's the book you want to write be honest write THAT book Don't cover it up with the French revolution and ghosts and spirits Write a freaking book about knowing yourself better and not letting peer pressure define who you are and about shopping and traveling There's no shame in thatAnd then ladies of gentlemen because there is so much wrong with this book I cannot even keep talking about it the ENDING THIS FREAKING GHOST THIS SUPER FUELED ON HATRED FRENCH UEEN who BEHEADED a bunch of people saves Colette for last of course because she is from the family of the girl who was the ueen closest friend and who betrayed her All right I can live with that GIANT cliché that we saw coming from a mile away BUT I cannot deal with after everything this evil spirit has done LITERALLY I SWEAR TO GOD all it takes for the ghost to give up its bloodthirsty uest for revenge is Colette saying I am so sorry about everything And my ancestor says she's really sorry too about everything She really really really didn't mean to do itAnd the ghost is like I FORGIVE YOU FRIEND GO IN PEACE AND IT'S OVER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?This crazed ghost was hellbent on torturing the shit out of dear Colette it dragged her to the ball oh god don't even get me started on the ludicrousness of this ball made a bunch of stuff happen and then it's like You know what you said you're sorry that's all I really wanted to hear ME MY HUSBAND AND MY CHILDREN WERE SLAUGHTERED BECAUSE OF YOU BECAUSE YOU BETRAYED ME AND ARE A MAJOR BITCH but hey cool as long as you're sorryAND THAT'S IT There's no fighting no spells no uest for the remains no burning of bones JUST A FREAKING APOLOGYOh my god it's too much I can't take itDon't read this book Actually you know what read it Read it and talk to me about it See if you disagreePS If you are under the age of 14 this will blow your mind

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