We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter



[Download] ➵ We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter By Celeste Headlee – E17streets4all.co.uk WE NEED TO TALK In this urgent and insightful book, public radio journalist Celeste Headlee shows us how to bridge what divides us by having real conversationsBASED ON THE TED TALK WITH OVER MILLION WE NEED TO TALK In this to Talk: PDF/EPUB Ä urgent and insightful book, public radio journalist Celeste Headlee shows us how to bridge what divides us by having real conversationsBASED ON THE TED TALK WITH OVERMILLION VIEWSNPR s Best books of Winner of theSilver Nautilus Award in Relationships Communication We Need to Talk is an important read for a conversationally challenged, disconnected age Headlee is a talented, honest storyteller, and her advice has helped me We Need PDF \ become a better spouse, friend, and mother Jessica Lahey, author of New York Times bestseller The Gift of Failure Today most of us communicate from behind electronic screens, and studies show that Americans feel less connected and divided than ever before The blame for some of this disconnect can be attributed to our political landscape, but the erosion of our conversational skills as a society lies with us as individualsAnd the only way Need to Talk: PDF/EPUB ä forward, says Headlee, is to start talking to each other In We Need to Talk, she outlines the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist and offers simple tools that can improve anyone s communication For example BE THERE OR GO ELSEWHERE Human beings are incapable of multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse Think againECK YOUR BIAS The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you vulnerable to them We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others Check your bias before you judge someone elseHIDE YOUR PHONE Don t just put down your phone, put it away New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversationWhether you re struggling to communicate with your kid s teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter.We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter

Is a well known author, some to Talk: PDF/EPUB Ä of his books are a fascination for readers like in the We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter book, this is one of the most wanted Celeste Headlee author readers around the world.

We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter
    We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse Think againECK YOUR BIAS The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you vulnerable to them We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others Check your bias before you judge someone elseHIDE YOUR PHONE Don t just put down your phone, put it away New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversationWhether you re struggling to communicate with your kid s teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter."/>
  • ebook
  • 272 pages
  • We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter
  • Celeste Headlee
  • 22 August 2017
  • 0062669028

10 thoughts on “We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations that Matter

  1. says:

    Lots of nuggets of wisdom regarding good communication skills, and in particular conversation skills, in this book After all, Good conversation doesn t happen naturally, though most of us assume the opposite p 35 Honest and to the point, Headlee s strategies will help you improve your conversation skills, as well as know and understand others better.

  2. says:

    This book can be summarized in a few short sentences, maybe one for the most part We need to listen, and actually talk less This is an important lesson, since we tend to talk and not listen much, and we tend to talk about ourselves As recited in the book Sociologist Charles Derber describes this tendency to insert oneself into a conversation as conversational narcissism It s the desire to take over a conversation, to do most of the talking, and to turn the focus of the exchange to yoursel This book can be summarized in a few short sentences, maybe one for the most part We need to listen, and actually talk less This is an important lesson, since we tend to talk and not listen much, and we tend to talk about ourselves As recited in the book Sociologist Charles Derber describes this tendency to insert oneself into a conversation as conversational narcissism It s the desire to take over a conversation, to do most of the talking, and to turn the focus of the exchange to yourself It is often subtle and unconscious.But it s quite amusing, that in a book that talks about conversational narcissism the author writes 90% of the book about themselves I is mentioned there about 70 million times, and what the author said, thought, heard or bought in a store Like many of us in conversations, I wasn t super happy or interested in that.Here is some of that After that meeting, I started to take notice of how often I repeated negative feedback I did it a lot, and it was affecting staff morale The thing is, it would have never occurred to me that repetition alone could be heard as criticism had this producer not spoken up. Butimportant, the truth is that most of the time we aren t really listening at all I was at the grocery store recently and told the cashier, My reusable bags are buried in my cart Give me a minute to get them out She looked directly at me and said, Okay, sure I hear you, while she was bagging my groceries in plastic bags I had to repeat myself twicebefore she really heard me. I had relegated the melodies to the background of my mind, not even paying close attention on those occasions when I was seated in a concert hall with the lights down I simply allowed the music to play while I thought about other things When I finally listened, really listened, the music moved me in a powerful way It was almost a spiritual experience, and that s not far from the experience I have sometimes when I truly listen to other people.A much better book that touches this area is Thanks for the Feedback The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone There are some awesome insights that I took with me from there.And I want to add The Power of Vulnerability Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage by Bren Brown This one highlights empathy, listening and sharing, topics that are dealt also in We Need to Talk A Practical Guide to the Lost Art of Conversation We need to listen, sometimes especially to advice that we give to others 2 stars

  3. says:

    Headlee is a news show host on NPR whose primary business is interviewing people and learning from what they tell her In this book, she uses her own observations backed up with current research to present several ways we can improve the quality of our conversations Headlee argues that with Americansdivided than at any time in recent history, we are losing the ability to have civil, engaged conversations The strategies she presents are not necessarily new or groundbreaking, but help us t Headlee is a news show host on NPR whose primary business is interviewing people and learning from what they tell her In this book, she uses her own observations backed up with current research to present several ways we can improve the quality of our conversations Headlee argues that with Americansdivided than at any time in recent history, we are losing the ability to have civil, engaged conversations The strategies she presents are not necessarily new or groundbreaking, but help us to recover the lost skill of difficult and involved conversation She covers the idea of active listening, overcoming our bias in conversations, and mindfulness I found this a useful discussion The only disappointments for me were Headlee s apparent disregard for small talk or banter and her insistence that timing is crucial to good conversation, even to the point that she recommends simply walking away from conversations when we may be too tired or distracted to fully engage While I understand that she is trying to present culturally specific advice for Americans, I think there are many times when important conversations must happen on someone else s timetable, not our own I also think that preserve our verbal interactions for quality conversations disregards the social cohesion that small talk builds Growing up in a large family and marrying into a culture that highly values both small talk and deep conversation, I think social interaction is a learned skill but I also think quantity can have a value even when the quality of the interaction is limited Overall, I would recommend this book I plan to use excerpts for discussions with my college students about conversation styles and also active listening and audience awareness

  4. says:

    Celeste Headlee believes conversation can change the world and after reading her book We Need To Talk, I agree.Good conversations increase our empathy and they help us consider other points of view, whether it s a political issue or how to handle a tricky situation at work or even a helpful tip related to a household chore We walk away understanding ourselves and the other person better than we did before.This, of course, takes work More importantly, it takes self awareness Most of us believe Celeste Headlee believes conversation can change the world and after reading her book We Need To Talk, I agree.Good conversations increase our empathy and they help us consider other points of view, whether it s a political issue or how to handle a tricky situation at work or even a helpful tip related to a household chore We walk away understanding ourselves and the other person better than we did before.This, of course, takes work More importantly, it takes self awareness Most of us believe we re better conversationalists than we actually are.And there s the rub When I started reading, I thought I had a pretty good handle on my conversation skills There are, of course, areas I can work on but overall, I thought I was in pretty good shape I m a great listener and naturally empathetic I used to be a social worker, for pete s sake It was tempting to think about how much other people really needed to read this book.But Headlee called me out Well, she called us all out We ve all made mistakes when it comes to conversation We ve said things we wish we hadn t, we ve spaced out, our words have hurt the people we love and strangers alike At a time when we re growingdivided and disconnected, we can t afford not to think about how to converse better The book is divided into two parts The first section focuses on the philosophy of conversation How do we define a good or bad conversation What can conversation teach us What does the research say I found chapter 3 about the hallmarks of good and bad conversation to be especially pertinent Chapters 4 and 5 made me think a lot about my expectations of conversation and how I can fine tune my approach for difficult conversations I may or may not have needed this reminder while discussing a hot political topic the other night.The second half of the book offers practical suggestions, such as how to ask questions, the benefits of silence, and why repetition doesn t actually help us communicate It also discusses when we shouldn t converse because there are times when this is the correct response I was underlining and asterisking so many parts It s made me view conversation in a whole different light and I m already trying to put her suggestions into practice.We Need To Talk offers practical, insightful advice on how to improve our conversations It s well written and easy to read In fact, it mimics Headlee s advice on how to have better conversations It s focused and to the point It s engaging It asks good questions It invites us to learn about ourselves and the world around us.The truth is we all need to heed Headlee s wisdom I have a feeling I ll be referring back to this book for years to come It s not enough for me to read it I need to apply its truths to my life Hold me to it.Disclosure I received an ARC from TLC Book Tours in exchange for an honest review

  5. says:

    I first encountered the author when I randomly watched her Ted Talk on how to improve your conversations I felt that her Ted Talk was engaging and offered really practical tips on how you can be a better conversationalist I saw this book and I felt it would be great to refresh and improve my conversation skills Before I continue, if you watched her Ted Talk, honestly you can skip the book because majority of what was said in the Ted Talk was just expounded on in this book I found out while r I first encountered the author when I randomly watched her Ted Talk on how to improve your conversations I felt that her Ted Talk was engaging and offered really practical tips on how you can be a better conversationalist I saw this book and I felt it would be great to refresh and improve my conversation skills Before I continue, if you watched her Ted Talk, honestly you can skip the book because majority of what was said in the Ted Talk was just expounded on in this book I found out while reading this book that I am a conversational narcissist yes I know, I am a horrible personSociologist Charles Derber describes this tendency to insert oneself into a conversation as conversational narcissism It s the desire to take over a conversation, to do most of the talking, and to turn the focus of the exchange to yourself It is often subtle and unconscious Derber writes that conversational narcissism is the key manifestation of the dominant attention getting psychology in America It occurs in informal conversations among friends, family, and coworkersSo you get why I need to read a book like this and improve I did enjoy reading this book and I do feel like I will get a physical copy so I can flip to when I feel like my conversations are waning Here are some advice that Celeste Headless suggests and some things I found interesting The business psychiatrist Mark Goulston says we only have about forty seconds to speak during a conversation before we run the risk of dominating the exchange He describes the first twenty seconds as the green light, when the other person likes you and is enjoying what you have to say The next twenty seconds are the yellow light, when the other person is beginning to lose interest or think you re long winded At forty seconds, Goulston says, the light turns red and it s time to stop talking A great reminder for everyone

  6. says:

    An excellent book Practical and written from an experts perspective but with humility and humour Highly recommend

  7. says:

    The attempt to change somebody s mind is the death of good conversation The ability to hold good conversations has become important to me the skill for both listening and speaking is one that I would like to sharpen.I came across We Need To Talk via a podcast where I heard the author speak of her work She made a positive impression I became curious about her book The book did not disappoint.Within the pages I found many good and practical pointers to improve conversation for both speaking The attempt to change somebody s mind is the death of good conversation The ability to hold good conversations has become important to me the skill for both listening and speaking is one that I would like to sharpen.I came across We Need To Talk via a podcast where I heard the author speak of her work She made a positive impression I became curious about her book The book did not disappoint.Within the pages I found many good and practical pointers to improve conversation for both speaking and listening The author s writing style appealed, and her voice throughout made the information presented very accesible I came away from the book with many quotes and ideas to apply to my daily life This does not mean my conversation skills improved overnight as that s a constant work in progress Rather, I now have a clearer idea on what to keep in mind, where I can improve, and which steps to take over time This is a book to return to periodically There is a lot of good stuff to take in.A few quotes Through my experience and research, I ve identified five key strategies that help facilitate a productive dialogue They are be curious, check your bias, show respect, stay the course, and end well p63 The most basic of all human needs, said Dr Ralph Nichols, who pioneered the study of listening, is the need to understand and be understood The best way to understand people is to listen to them I can say without exaggeration that listening is the most important skill I ve acquired in my life p221 To experience empathy, we must establish a connection between our idea of ourselves and of another person We have to ask questions like, Would I like it if that happened to me How would I feel if someone ran over my mailbox p23

  8. says:

    This is a topic that s become deeply important to me over the last few years both as someone who publishes conversations as podcasts, and in my daily life We could all listenall make a deeper effort to engage.A lot of what Headlee brings up hit bullseyes for meso here s hoping it will help me be a better listener and a better conversationalist.

  9. says:

    One of those books that you may already heard of it s content multiple times before but you still need to read it to refresh your mind and to give a biteffort to understand and think about what the author is saying to fully grasp the meaning behind it all and it s implications.I really enjoyed reading about this and it has made me think about many of the conversations I had, the ones I try to avoid, the ones I listen to half heartedly, the ones where I can t wait for the person to shut up One of those books that you may already heard of it s content multiple times before but you still need to read it to refresh your mind and to give a biteffort to understand and think about what the author is saying to fully grasp the meaning behind it all and it s implications.I really enjoyed reading about this and it has made me think about many of the conversations I had, the ones I try to avoid, the ones I listen to half heartedly, the ones where I can t wait for the person to shut up and leave me alone and the ones where I have hoped I have seen the person s face expression before talking and vise versa.This book shows you that even if you don t think of yourself as a narcissist, it s still something that s in you that will come up every now and then especially in conversations It shows how much we enjoy the bubble we create and the opinions that we wrap ourselves in without wanting to have a look outside and how that makes us prone to continuously claim we are right and everyone else is wrong without giving them a chance or the benefit of the doubt I am without a doubt guilty of that as well in most cases It s not an easy thing to step outside especially when it was quite a journey getting yourself to where you are now whether it s in beliefs or comfort confidence or the types of conversations you have.This book doesn t only teach us about where we can go wrong in conversations, but the importance to listen to ourselves as well and knowing when to have a conversation and when not to When it s important to put yourself first and have a break or how to decline someones conversation in a polite way instead of listening half heartedly and having the other person get annoyed The importance of actively listening to someone instead of thinking of a quick reply immediately after they finish their sentence The author isn t one of those people that blames everything on technology and social media She acknowledges its impact on us not being able to actively listen and have better conversations and the overall repercussions of that such as empathy and compassion but she also acknowledges it s importance in ours lives nowadays and I guess it s one of those things that we need to work around it instead of eliminating it because it s not something a lot of people myself included will be into.There s so much to unpack from this book and I really hope that my subconscious retains most of the information

  10. says:

    Must read for how to communicate Don t be shifter, be a supporter.

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