Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Identity and the Meaning of Sex

➵ [Reading] ➷ Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Identity and the Meaning of Sex By Angela Chen ➪ – An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that's obsessed with sexual attraction and what we can all learn about desire and identity by using an ace lens to see the worldWhat e Asexuality Reveals PDF º An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that's obsessed with sexual attraction and what we can all learn about desire and identity by using an ace lens to see the worldWhat exactly is sexual attraction What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Epub / and what is it like to go through the world not experiencing it What does asexuality reveal about consent about compromise about the structures of society This exceedingly accessible guide to asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion Ace What PDF/EPUB ² around sexual activity the intersection of sexuality and identity navigating different needs in relationships—are conflicts that all of us need to address as we move through the worldThrough interviews cultural criticism and memoir ACE invites all readers to consider big picture issues through the lens of asexuality because every place that sexuality touches our world asexuality does tooJournalist Angela Chen uses her own journey of self discovery as an asexual person to unpretentiously educate and vulnerably connect with readers effortlessly weaving What Asexuality Reveals MOBI ñ analysis of sexuality and societally imposed norms with interviews of ace people Among those included are the woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that not wanting sex was a sign of serious illness and the man who grew up in an evangelical household and did everything right only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others Also represented are disabled aces aces of color non gender conforming What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Epub / aces uestioning whether their asexuality is a reaction against stereotypes and aces who don't want romantic relationships asking how our society can make room for them.Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Identity and the Meaning of Sex

Asexuality Reveals PDF º .

Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Identity and the
  • Hardcover
  • 210 pages
  • Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Identity and the Meaning of Sex
  • Angela Chen
  • English
  • 04 March 2016
  • 9780807013793

10 thoughts on “Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Identity and the Meaning of Sex

  1. says:

    I'm always striving to grow as a person and expand my knowledge base and the one area of ueer spectrum that I probably need the most education in is asexuality I've read nearly two dozen romance books with asexual characters but I've never read a non fiction book about asexuality until now As someone who is far removed from the asexual world I was really interested to learn about asexuality from a nuanced perspective And I was really impressed by how Angela Chen approached the topic Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society and the Meaning of Sex is a dense diverse ueer feminist and interesting book on asexuality and it's cultural personal and historical significance I had never considered some of Angela Chen's talking points before For example she goes into details about how feminism and asexuality intersect and how the focus on sexual liberation and therefore the heightened emphasis on sex and partners somehow became linked to being feminist in many people's minds She also going into detail about the complicated relationships between physical and mental disabilities and asexuality and about race and age in the asexual community There was a lot to unpackI enjoyed how the author wove in personal stories from multiple sources including herself I also liked how she explored concepts that I find personally challenging to understand like romantic love vs platonic love when attraction isn't involved Though I found the story to be very interesting I also found it to be dense and a bit clunky to get through I read it between other books at times unable to put it down and at other times struggling to keep my attention which might just be a product of reading a non fiction didactic type of story However overall it was a very rewarding read for me and I think it greatly furthered my understanding of the nuances of asexuality A great read for those who are asexual or those who just want to learn about asexuality I would highly recommend Ace What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society and the Meaning of SexCopy provided in exchange for an honest reviewgoodreads|instagram|twitter|blog

  2. says:

    I’m here I’m asexual and I need this book than I need cake

  3. says:

    I just applied for a giveaway of this As someone on the ace spectrum this is Relevant to my Interests

  4. says:

    Wow Wow wow wow What a book I legitimately don't even know where to begin I feel like my mind expanded to twice its size over the course of reading this Ace isn't simply about the asexual community; it's as much about how our we view desire romance sex sexuality and cultural necessities like marriage—and how we should uestion everything that's considered innate to our nature This book is absolutely for those who want to learn about asexuality and our societal norms and pressures around sex but I'd argue that for that reason everyone needs to read itI also appreciated how Chen laced intersectionality into her work including looking at how identities like race disability religion geography class education and gender are inherently interwoven with sexuality and sexual orientation Additionally it was eually important that she pointed out at the get go that her writing would be somewhat narrowed to Western educated and middle or high income populations given the nature of who has access to material on asexuality as well as the time and resources to do that internal workThis is definitely a denser and academic read so I recommend breaking it up a little bit But I think it should be reuired reading for everybody

  5. says:

    I received an ARC from an ARC fairy and this is my honest reviewCW mentions of acephobia455When I first heard about this book I got super excited A new nonfiction book examining asexuality? Something I can point to for people who want to know about this? And one that's written by someone who's ace? So so excited I'm really glad I read this one because it's super diverse and looks at basically any intersection that asexuality can have Race the author is Chinese herself gender both cis and trans identities disability trauma and rape romantic identifications across the spectrum etc It really covered everything you might think about showing that asexuality brings a lot to the table to the conversation of sexuality I really enjoyed this and I think that it's a must read for aces to consider the space that we inhabit and the intersectionality of our wonderfully diverse community as well as for allosexual aka feel sexual attraction folk so they can become inclusive and remove acephobia from their world It was just excellent and definitely one I'll end up having on my shelf

  6. says:

    I don’t even know where to start with my review but just know this the beautiful feeling of being seen of being validated is precious and happens so rarely for us ace folx so this iseverythingHand this to all acearo spec folx allo folx and uestioning friends this explains it all far better than I ever could

  7. says:

    I really appreciate this book partly because it felt personal There are parts of it that shift away from personal narratives to discuss history fact definition or neutral events but most of it came through a specific perspective that compares contrasts and relates the content it's the perspective of the author And that's not a down side at all it reminds us that the broad spectrum of asexual experience asexual history asexual definition and asexual justice is always ultimately personal We are each one person in the thick of all this finding our wayI like how the beginning contrasted a sex repulsed person's very obvious asexuality with a confusing self discovery that had the author struggling to pick apart what sexual attraction is and why it was not the same thing as being interested in or willing to have sex The focus on developing language for it and understanding ourselves through it was really refreshing And as we read about the history the trap of defining ourselves through lack the evolution of a population that was dawning in its specific organization as the internet emerged and the things we share despite extremely variable experiences we can understand it in macro by looking at it in micro I was head nodding a lot at the descriptions of how various types of attraction break down and why it's important even if a lot of people have experienced their aesthetic and sensual and romantic and sexual attraction toward the same people in a way that seems synchronous asexual people might find a few of those off the table and only some of them remaining and don't know how to proceed because they're told they can't want one thing and not the others But it's so interesting that non aces who do experience sexual attraction but NOT some of the other things that often go with it might also find these concepts useful and applicable in their lives and I loved the discussion of that along with so many oh so relatable examples about not finding hot people hot at all when they do the hot things and not being able to recognize the energy everyone is supposedly putting out and receivingI appreciate the care taken to acknowledge the effect of a person's socioeconomic and cultural status on their experience of sexuality and asexuality too I especially like how in Chapter 3 there was an examination of how heterosexuality is WAY than just an orientation that happens to be the most popular one It's a huge institution designed to influence our choices from who we mate with to how we present ourselves in society and what is good to attract while there are other things we should want to avoid appearing like Heterosexuality can seem insidious and oppressive if it's used against a person and even for those who haven't been particularly harmed through its pervasiveness have certainly had it inform their process of coming to an adult identity and deciding what they like The discussion that follows from this about compulsory sexuality and how it affects asexual people is really nuanced and rang very true Sometimes it can be hard to understand from outside how it can hurt so intensely and so pervasively to be told Every Single Healthy Person Is Sexual and how terribly it can affect you if so many people take this as given when they enter into a relationship with you or realize it has been true all along when they already had a relationship with you What that assumption does to a relationship how it makes them see you differently how the urge to fix asexual people because of compulsory sexuality can manifest from violence to condescending media representation how the things that hurt us the most are often done in the interest of helping us I have probably been hurt the most in my life by people who think they're hounding me and interrogating me for MY own good and it really is amazing how few of them have ever considered whether THEIR basic assumption about sexuality could be fundamentally mistaken Their utter unwillingness to consider such things is really telling; we live in a society that enables such people to never uestion this basic belief and it really is tragic that so many of us have been hurt by people who claim they want to help usThe exploration of why asexuality needs to be talked about was really special too I liked that there was a pretty extensive discussion of various experiences of people who thought something was wrong with them and what that did to their lives and why it's not the same as people just wanting recognition for no reason if we live in a society that CENTERS the thing we don't experience I've personally encountered the aggressive HA GOTCHA screed of IF I DON'T LIKE SOCCER LIKE MOST MEN DOES THAT MEAN I DESERVE A GROUP FOR SOMETHING I'M NOT INTERESTED IN? plenty of times from people who seem really inappropriately angry that someone like me might be getting attention they don't deserve Yes sir if your life was deeply affected by and shaped by your lack of interest in something and you'd had people trying to pressure you into it for decades and your society was set up to make you think something was wrong with you if you didn't like it and you were urged to undergo physical and mental interventions to get you to start liking it and everyone you talked to had an exaggerated intense judgment of you for what you weren't into which may or may not lead to disrespect harassment intentional triggering or violence well yeah sure I think you very well deserve a group But I also wouldn't be in the comments field of a I HATE FOOTBALL AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS organization telling them they don't deserve to have that conversation because if they want to have it I'm not invested at all in taking it away from them The reverse is not trueI never took the liberties the author took with trying to jump start a typical sexual experience but I very much recognized the pressures she mentions that women if they are not sexually adventurous are assumed repressed and that if we believe we are not repressed and yet still don't want sex we need to access some kind of intervention or therapy to get us in touch with ourselves with the supposition that that desire IS in us somewhere and we will never know our real selves if we don't realize that everyone including women wants sex I was actually once harassed and shamed on Twitter by someone who insisted that asexuality is inherently an anti feminist and oppressive identity The person said it was utterly irresponsible of me to trick women into thinking they could have no desire and that could be okay and that I was shamefully undoing decades of women's lib to reiterate conservative ideologies that let women be okay with not admitting their sexual appetites and being ashamed of their desires Obviously any real feminist should understand that the issue is about choice not about how often and to what extent you say yes If you don't have the freedom to say yes on your own terms yes you're oppressed And that includes also being able to say no whenever it suits you If no always forever isn't available as an option it's not really choiceI liked the information about sex negative feminism from the early 1980s because that was new information to me I recognized its effects in the reality of my life but I didn't know the specifics and it was really enlightening to read about And reading about Lauren one of the interviewees who was unfortunate enough to encounter a mentor who was aggressive about trying to program her into believing asexuality wasn't real and if she was asexual she would never be a good writer because it meant she lacked passion I've had that said to me and it's so baffling I was literally told once that sexual passion was THE root of all motivation and passion for everyone so it was impossible for me to be a decent writer if I lacked this I would need to get in touch with it STAT Gee I wonder why so many people need to believe that sexual attraction and sexual desire are an inherent part of being human and that we literally can't have human desires without it? And as an aside about Lauren's story what does it say about the predictability of these scenarios that I KNEW the man who manipulated her into thinking she would never amount to anything unless she ditched asexuality would eventually proposition her then shame her when she refused? Surprise another man who somehow thinks he loves a woman but is routinely manipulative and condescending then FURIOUS when she ultimately will not become the thing he has been trying to sculpt her into I love the discussion of the author's reasoning for having a one night stand to prove she was not being held back by Puritan notions about saving oneself It was really fascinating to me as a person who's heard all the same things but was never driven in that direction I really related though to the section about caveats afterwards; that we as aces always feel like we have to ualify our aceness and explain that we're ace but not in the BAD way that the other person is probably thinking And that reassuring others that the stereotypes about aces aren't true for us is indirectly insulting to some other aces and can introduce or reinforce the stereotypes for our conversation partnerThe section on the ace community being whitewashed was especially important for me to read As an ace activist who noticed the whitewashing a long time ago and always tries to listen when aces of color talk about their experience I very much appreciate a whole spotlight on it to hear their stories The intersection of their racial minority status with their aceness is such an important discussion topic how much they're sexualized or not sexualized what beliefs about them feed into who they become and how they react to their own sexual attraction or perception of receiving sexual attraction from someone else what kind of uniue cultural pressures are they reacting to or perceived to be reacting to it's a lot of the same stuff other people told me during my own research that I by definition can't experience because I'm white These aces existing in my community and talking about their experiences this way led me to encourage journalists and reporters to include non white participants whenever they contacted me for my perspective I also like to encourage them to reach out to neurodivergent and disabled acesI also really like the exploration of ace people's choices in how they present themselves I too have been confronted with HA GOTCHA commentary about how I absolutely WOULD NOT dress the way I do if I was asexual and therefore I am not In other words if I ever appear in any way desirable to someone a it was calculated intentional; and b if my appearance might make someone want to have sex with me I also obviously want to have sex with someone if not specifically them It's preposterous but SO often thrown around as proof that any attractive asexual person is a liar And of course if we're not particularly attractive or don't by their perception try then THAT'S the reason we CLAIM to be asexual because no one wants us Ta dah No way we present ourselves validates an asexual identity Surprise The next chapter on disability highlighted similar issues regarding the intersection of desexualization and physical existence and the way disabled bodies are thought unsexy which makes it complicated for asexual disabled people to own their asexuality and determine whether it's really just a symptom and whether you can even divorce it from your physical existence at a certain point and how some disabled people and some asexual people are against seeing the two as possibly intertwined because of how much focus there is in both communities about not wanting to be seen as each otherThe discussion of a line between romantic love and friendship love was really illuminating I related a lot to what the author talked about with regard to compelling female friendships and how they can involve physical and emotional intimacy down to kisses and pet names without it meaning you are sexually attracted to the person and our cultural obsession with saying you MUST be sexually involved or must want to be if your care for someone increases beyond a certain strength is really limiting when it comes to relationships so many people really do experience It has always been weird to me as the author discusses that sex without love is accepted as possible but love without sex is treated like an impossibility I found myself head nodding in response to people saying they'd been told it's surprising they're single; happens to me all the time and as a woman past 40 sometimes you seem great can't believe you're single is paired with so what's the secret thing that's wrong with you?The examination of consent in a relationship was great too I've had some disappointing conversations with people who literally believe there is a baseline amount of sex they are guaranteed in a relationship unless the other person explicitly opts out and they agree to that opting out Otherwise how convenient it happens that the Decent Person's Consensus On How Much Sex They Are Owed also happens to be the amount and type of sex they personally want You don't even have to talk about it because the person who won't offer it is in the wrong if they won't And counseling will always lean toward figuring out how to make the less sexual person accommodate those needs without asking the sexual person why they feel entitled to expect and demand them from an unwilling partner I also really liked the nuanced discussion of complicated consent beyond the yes and no binaryThe author is also really gifted in using gently accessible language It was occasionally just unusually artful for coverage of a subject like this which I appreciated it really was a pleasure to read writing style wise even though the subject matter itself is also an interest of mine I like that it was clear and readable while still having some voice and personality and some funny phrasing references to memes or calling people assholes was a fun reminder that this is a delightful person's perspective not just a recitation of ace related stuff There were several revealing sections where the author shared her personal prejudicesreactions and her analysis of them or her history of growing through experiences she wishes she hadn't had to live the way she did I enjoyed it and thought it was both an artistic success and a very important book for anyone who wants to understand sexual diversity

  8. says:

    This book opened my eyes to the world of Aces and helped me to see sex and desire and romance as different things I think the book got a little tedious in parts I liked it and learned a lot

  9. says:

    Finally finally finally I have a book about asexuality that I could give to my parents It covers asexuality 101 and so so much than that It is a relief to have such a thorough description and investigation of what asexuality can be This book is brilliantly and necessarily intersectional a breath of fresh air It covers feminism racism ableism and how all of these things and intersect with compulsory sexuality In fact I think I could give it to many of my allo allies despite its density and I think that not only would they find it absolutely fucking fascinating and eye opening I think it would enrich their understanding of themselves and the way that sexuality interacts with culture and society from an entirely new perspective I tend to consider myself fairly connected to and well versed in ace discourse However this book gave words and definitions to concepts that I have never been able to fully tease out or understand let alone voice A few years ago I tried writing a novel that was based in a failed utopia ironically I couldn’t address the theme properly because to destroy a utopia you have to built it clearly enough to find its flaws and I couldn’t imagine how to make a society that I would want to live in let alone collapse it It is only with this book that some of those tangled issues have been pulled out and laid flat and the stage of beginning to think about possible solutions can begin Possible futures This is such an incredibly thoughtful and lovely and optimistic book It has opened my eyes to the many many possibly ways to be ace and to be happy that I hope will one day be mainstream knowledge

  10. says:

    This is a very educational and intersectional book on asexuality Although it is educational it's told through anectodal stories of various ace people Chen has interviewed making it an easier read to comprehendI really like that it covers the following topics ace differences and expectations in men vs women; the intersectionality of sexuality race and gender; asexuality and disabilities asexuality and romance platonic love and ueer platonic partners; ace aromanticism; consent and it's role in ace allo relationships; and hermeneutical injustice All of these topics and really increased my knowledge of asexuality and the intersectionality of itThere's really nothing about this book I didn't enjoy I was able to connect to many of the stories and interviewees and where I didn't connect I was glad to be learning about the ace community and of people from various other communities that are also a part of the ace community such as people of different races and people with disabilities to name a fewThis is an OV review therefore I have connected very heavily to this book If you're not part of the ace community I still do recommend that if you found your way to this review you still do consider reading this book Maybe it can help you better support and understand your ace friend partner sibling child or just become a better allyThis book was provided to me by Edelweiss in exchange for an honest reviewAce by Angela Chen comes out on September 15 2020

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