Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking



The Book That Started The Quiet RevolutionAt Least One Third Of The People We Know Are Introverts They Are The Ones Who Prefer Listening To Speaking Who Innovate And Create But Dislike Self Promotion Who Favor Working On Their Own Over Working In Teams It Is To Introverts Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr Seuss, Steve Wozniak That We Owe Many Of The Great Contributions To Society In Quiet, Susan Cain Argues That We Dramatically Undervalue Introverts And Shows How Much We Lose In Doing So She Charts The Rise Of The Extrovert Ideal Throughout The Twentieth Century And Explores How Deeply It Has Come To Permeate Our Culture She Also Introduces Us To Successful Introverts From A Witty, High Octane Public Speaker Who Recharges In Solitude After His Talks, To A Record Breaking Salesman Who Quietly Taps Into The Power Of Questions Passionately Argued, Superbly Researched, And Filled With Indelible Stories Of Real People, Quiet Has The Power To Permanently Change How We See Introverts And, Equally Important, How They See ThemselvesNow With Extra Libris Material, Including A Reader S Guide And Bonus ContentQuiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

QUIET The Power of Introverts in a World That Can t Stop Talking, was released in January, 2012, from Crown Publishers in the U.S., and from Viking Penguin in the U.K Quiet Power The Secret Strengths of Introverts was released in May, 2016 from Dial Books in the U.S., and from Penguin Life in the U.K.I would love to meet all of you I can be found on any of the sites listed below QuietRev.com Facebook.com AuthorSusanCain Twitter.com SusanCain Plus.Google.com SUSANCAIN Linkedin.com in susancain Pinterest.com SusanCainAuthor ABOUT THE AUTHOR SUSAN CAIN is the co founder of Quiet Revolution and the author of the bestsellers Quiet Power The Secret Strengths of Introverts, and Quiet The Power of Introverts in A World That Can t Stop Talking, which has been translated into 40 languages, has been on the New York Times bestseller list for over four years, and was named the 1 best book of the year by Fast Company magazine, which also named Cain one of its Most Creative People in Business Cain is also the co founder of the Quiet Schools Network and the Quiet Leadership Institute Her writing has appeared in the The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal, and many other publications Her record smashing TED talk has been viewed over 14 million times and was named by Bill Gates one of his all time favorite talks Cain has also spoken at Microsoft, Google, the U.S Treasury, the S.E.C., Harvard, Yale, West Point and the US Naval Academy She received Harvard Law School s Celebration Award for Thought Leadership, the Toastmasters International Golden Gavel Award for Communication and Leadership, and was named one of the world s top 50 Leadership and Management Experts by Inc Magazine She is an honors graduate of Princeton and Harvard Law School She lives in the Hudson River Valley with her husband and two sons Before I became a writer, I practiced corporate law for seven years, representing clients like JP Morgan and General Electric, and then worked as a negotiations consultant, training all kinds of people, from hedge fund managers to TV producers to college students negotiating their first salaries My clients have included Merrill Lynch, Shearman Sterling, One Hundred Women in Hedge Funds, and manyI went to Princeton University and Harvard Law School.From all this you might guess that I m a hardcore, wonderfully self confident, pound the table kind of person, when in fact I m just the opposite I prefer listening to talking, reading to socializing, and cozy chats to group settings I like to think before I speak softly I ve never given a speech without being terrified first, though I ve given many And somehow I know that everything I ve ever accomplished, in love and in work, I owe to these traits, annoying though they may sometimes be I ve explored this paradox in my first book, QUIET.I live on the banks of the Hudson River in an 1822 captain s cottage with my beloved husband, sons, and magnolia trees My favorite activities are reading, writing, lounging around caf s, and doing the mambo with my family I use a lot of old fashioned expressions A few times a year, I try to like cooking I m insatiably curious about human nature.

[PDF / Epub] ☆ Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking Author Susan Cain – E17streets4all.co.uk
  • Hardcover
  • 333 pages
  • Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
  • Susan Cain
  • English
  • 09 February 2017
  • 0307352145

10 thoughts on “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

  1. says:

    There s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideasI read this book for the same reason most people read this book I am an introvert I have always been an introvert, and it s a fundamental, sometimes limiting, part of who I am I ve learned to deal with it better over the years learned to clasp my shaking hands together during presentations, force myself to breathe normally and keep my voice steady, even force myself to make the first move in social situatThere s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideasI read this book for the same reason most people read this book I am an introvert I have always been an introvert, and it s a fundamental, sometimes limiting, part of who I am I ve learned to deal with it better over the years learned to clasp my shaking hands together during presentations, force myself to breathe normally and keep my voice steady, even force myself to make the first move in social situations Unless you are also an introvert, you probably won t understand the efforts I have to go to and the psychological strain this puts on me just to behave in a way that is considered socially acceptable and is desired by employers.It s actually caused me upset and distress for many reasons Firstly because I find it hard to cope in the many situations where bright, outgoing personalities thrive Secondly because it s just considered a negative trait Look at magazines, look at books like How to Win Friends and Influence People, look at job applications asking for people persons I remember reading teen magazines in high school and seeing stupid articles about how to attract boys confident, dazzling personalities are a necessity and feeling a very real blow to my self esteem.But I have accepted it as an unfortunate fact of reality for years the simple conclusion that being introverted is a bad thing Not a terrible thing, and definitely not an impossible thing to cope with technology billionaires are often introverts after all but something limiting like a lower intelligence that I must constantly battle against to make it through this world.Until I read this book.Susan Cain uses facts, statistics and her own case studies to show that introverts are greatly successful and powerful, not in spite of their introversion, but because of it She compares different types of businesses and teamwork to show how extroverts and introverts each excel in different types of business environments For example, extroverts often lead businesses better when there is little input from other team members whereas introverts thrive in situations that rely on the input of a team because they arelikely to listen to the other members and implement their ideas.From Harvard Business School students to Ivy League professors to Rosa Parks, Cain looks at the different types of influence introverts and extroverts have She does not place favour on one or the other, but instead portrays a view of the world in which both have an extremely important part to play it just so happens that the extroverts tend to be louder about it It s an important, engaging book that pulled along even a lover of fiction and fantasy like me And, though comforting, it is still a respectable study that achievesthan just making introverts feel a little better about themselves The findings speak for themselves and not only serve to please a shy little weirdo like me, but also make a lot of sense.An important read for introverts and extroverts alike.Blog Facebook Twitter Instagram Tumblr

  2. says:

    I always thought I was just weirdI can be alone in my car for a 1h drive and not want to have the radio or music on On sundays I often join the walking club for a long 25km walk, but I prefer to do it alone and oh, all the pity looks you get The idea of surprise parties makes me sick to my stomach, and any event where a thousand people are together is possibly even worse I dislike small talk, but I probably hate evenhow nervous I get when I have to do it I can feel sad for a brui I always thought I was just weirdI can be alone in my car for a 1h drive and not want to have the radio or music on On sundays I often join the walking club for a long 25km walk, but I prefer to do it alone and oh, all the pity looks you get The idea of surprise parties makes me sick to my stomach, and any event where a thousand people are together is possibly even worse I dislike small talk, but I probably hate evenhow nervous I get when I have to do it I can feel sad for a bruised tomato no one wants to buy hey, he tried his best too, not his fault someone dropped him , and while everyone else goes to the modern, light apothecary across the street with the super nice people always happy to help, I go to the dark and older one who never has clients how else will he survive Turns out I m not that weird I m just a full blood introvert And yet, I m not what you think I m not particularly shy, I m not the grey bird that never says a word and everyone forgets she s around I m very opinionated and quite stubborn, and when amongst friends I know well, I can be the loudest person in the room But still I m introvert After being with friends or colleagues, I need recharging time I need to be alone I almost always think before I talk I enjoy getting to the bottom of things, I enjoy detective work And I can go on and on.While reading this book, on occasion I was nodding so hard I thought my head might fall off.There were very little eye opening surprises in this book, and even a few things I didn t agree with or I would have hoped for her to exploreEven a few occasions I thought she was idealizing introverts This book was not perfect, but somehow i feel that it was important for me to read it.Overall, it was quite liberating I m not that weird About a third of us on this planet and on a website as Goodreads probably a LOTareor less like me not completely like me, I m still unique I insist But that might not be an issue Though some of you might recognize some of my examples above, I ve never met someone before that can feel bad for a bruised tomato So maybe i m still little weird, and my own unique self Hoorah

  3. says:

    March 6th was Super Tuesday and I live in that Oh so much talked about battle ground state of Ohio I work the elections as a Ballot Judge, which means I hand out the ballots to the voters and give them instructions I get to talk and talk, for 13 hours straight sigh I try to make it entertaining for the voters, myself and the others I work with because of its repetition, but by 7 30 pm when the polls close I don t think the language I was using was English.My spiel went something like this March 6th was Super Tuesday and I live in that Oh so much talked about battle ground state of Ohio I work the elections as a Ballot Judge, which means I hand out the ballots to the voters and give them instructions I get to talk and talk, for 13 hours straight sigh I try to make it entertaining for the voters, myself and the others I work with because of its repetition, but by 7 30 pm when the polls close I don t think the language I was using was English.My spiel went something like this.Me Hi What ballot can I get for you today Voter Uh.what do you mean Me Today we have, Democratic, Republican, Libertarian or Green I have never given out the last two.Voter What s a Green party Me I m not sure, but there is next to nothing on their ballot Voter I m and independent code for embarrassed Republican can t I have both a Democratic AND Republican ballot Me No, you must declare one and you will be that party until the next primary Ohio is a closed primary state Voter Uh.then give me a whispers a Democrat one Me loudly Democratic it is Take all this to a table and vote, when you are done bring everything back to Rosemary in the red sweater by that machine Make sure to tear off the stub on the bottom of the ballot.the one that is marked do not detach when you come up to the machine If you don t, you will make Rosemary angry a very sweet and very old woman and you won t like her when she s angry She will cover you in I Voted stickers This resulted in lots of chuckles, but I did it 301 times I was drained I slept for 12 hours that night Twelve Grant it, I got up at stupid O clock to get to the polls by 6 am and maybe had 4 hours of sleep, but I was just a shell my former self I am an introvert Introverts and extroverts are most easily determined by how their energy is drained and how it is refreshed Extroverts are drained when they have spent too much time alone, and the opposite is true for introverts So for me, my life force was gone.In the United States our culture is biased towards the extrovert We are about the loudness, the out there, the utter insanity if you will In school poor Johnny is so quiet, he needs to come out of his shell I want to scream Leave him alone..he s FINE, he likes his shell School rooms now do this Pod thing where they pull four desks together and make these poor kids work as a team WTF No way would have that concept worked for me and it s not working for introverted kids There s no I in team and that is a damn dirty shame.I haven t worked in an office setting in years, so when I read in this book that office places are arranging offices areas with an open concept, everybody face to face with no walls Workers going about their day, shooting the shit, getting ideas brainstorming which doesn t work Who in the hell thought that one up What a nightmare What if I only tolerate a certain co worker now I have to stare at his annoying face all day, every day How is anything ever accomplished Companies are beginning to realize this mistake and are changing things up Google I think it was them designed their offices with food, bathrooms and the like all in the center, like a town center, with offices around the edges It is designed for casual meetings where ideas everyone figured out in their quiet offices are shared and expanded.Introverts are a third to half of the population Many of these don t even know they are introverted, because of the push to be extroverted has made them fool themselves into thinking they were extroverts.Another interesting thing I learned from this book is that extroverts are motivated by rewards They work toward things, and take risks if need be to get to the goal of getting that reward Extroverts are soooo happy when they get the reward.Introverts are motivated by fear So they do thingscautiously, careful not to mess things up in the process of getting to a goal That sounds like me It s doesn t sound cool that I am afraid to F things up, but I am.This book is interesting, whether you are an I or an E Because if you re not an introvert, odds are you know and love one.Also posted at Shelfinflicted

  4. says:

    In a twist that will surprise precisely no one, this book spends a fair amount of time cheering for introverts What were the odds, right I assume if you re picking this book up you re on board with that to a certain extent, and likely something of an introvert yourself This book is certainly for you or for the perplexed extrovert or pseudo extrovert that might be confused by your supposedly mysterious ways It s a sort of shield, a blockade, a set of reinforced walls that Cain feels it is n In a twist that will surprise precisely no one, this book spends a fair amount of time cheering for introverts What were the odds, right I assume if you re picking this book up you re on board with that to a certain extent, and likely something of an introvert yourself This book is certainly for you or for the perplexed extrovert or pseudo extrovert that might be confused by your supposedly mysterious ways It s a sort of shield, a blockade, a set of reinforced walls that Cain feels it is necessary to throw up around introverts particularly American introverts to protect them from the Extrovered Ideal, of American socialization The tone of the beginning of the book is thus rather defiant, like Cain is screaming back at everyone she has ever felt pressured by to go to a happy hour or to a dinner party when she had much rather just read a book instead There s some of this kick back throughout the book, with plenty of cathartic sympathetic rather relatable war stories from introverts just tryin to make it in an extrovert s world It is particularly meant to speak to introverts in the high flying business, legal, and or educational world, where a premium is put on socializing, teamwork, constant connection and multitasking I am speaking here particularly of the rarefied worlds of Big Law, Wall Street Finance, and Ivy League academia It s a very career and work focused book, with a surprisingly frequent focus on the bottom line about what traits introverts arelikely to have and how these should be recognized at the top tables in all fields Her argument, based on one scientific study after another throughout the chapters deployed like so much artillery , is that introverts tend to thinkdeeply about problems and persist for longer in trying to solve them Introverts are supposedlylikely to care about the feelings of others, to make excellent compromising leaders, and to be excellent negotiators Cain s particular area of expertise based on their ability to seem soft and actually be tough at the same time She scorns the merely shy as extroverts in disguise who share extroverts traits and want the spotlight but who are just too scared to get it she would never say this outright, but it is clear that she believes they don t deserve the secret introvert password and is determined to keep out the riffraff She argues that the extroverts in powerful positions she has seen arelikely to take unjustified risks, to get hopped up on testosterone and the thrill of the chase, to listen to the loudest person in the room, and to walk all over introverts.She readily admits the nuances in these sweeping generalizations She also admits the worth of extroverts and how introverts greatly enjoy and need their company, both professionally and personally In addition, she also talks about some legitimate times when introverts may devote time and energy to being extroverted if they care about something enough Free Trait Theory Finally, and in the part that I most appreciated, Cain talks a bit about the Situational theory of personality that is, that people s personalities can be completely different in different situations, times and around different people Therefore, there are very few pure introverts or pure extroverts She also admits that the way that these generalized traits play out may look very different and may, after all, not be very predictive in any direct way Many extroverts may have excellent impulse control, or introverts who care deeply about a cause may act frequently and completely out of character in order to fight for what they believe in However, the space devoted to these arguments is much, much smaller than the space devoted to proving, endlessly, how awesome introverts are and why the professional world should value them and stop trying to tell them that they have to be like extroverts because I m okay and you re okay and it takes all kinds and a village to make the world go round.And honestly This is a message that s happening to hit me at the right time, when I m involved in a workplace with a whole lot of extroverts surrounding me I did find it useful in my particular mindset where I am actively waging a struggle to define my own style in a new profession, since introversion is a part of my identity I also thought that some of the studies she cited DO make a lot of sense and should bewidely looked at like the ones that talk about why it s a good idea to ask people to provide feedback and brainstorm online rather than in big meetings or why introverts with closed door offices areproductive or some of the advice to parents about how to cherish their introverted child I also think that it s nice to have someone sounding the alert that someone speaking quietly is not wrong by default turn on cable news for thirty seconds and you ll be reminded why that is important.And yet, despite the evident time put into this book, and despite my bias towards it, I couldn t shake the feeling of cynical questioning of what felt like a great deal of pop psychology and arguments made based on feelings, anecdotes and newspaper clippings collected into a narrative It felt like a file you might keep to make yourself feel better and to express an important part of your identity, rather than a research paper and I m sure it was aiming at something closer to that crossed with an advice column There s such a lot of speculation in here, and lots of scientific studies without citations or countervailing evidence brought into play For example, it certainly didn t help that the minute after I read one of thefluffy scientific studies in here about how we Americans as a culture aredrawn to people that display significantlytraditionally dominant body language in pictures I saw it in an issue of Marie Claire in a box near the back of the magazine reconfigured to be about women being attracted to men and how you ve gotta look aggressive and Manly to get us ladiezz don t you know It just seems like a book written for a specific audience that you can rely on to make that leap to just know what you mean because they ve got an emotional bank of misunderstood years and moments to draw on In short, it appeals to an emotional truth built on hundreds of pages of stories and studies that may or may not add up to anything at all On the one hand, it s maybe okay to create a space for a community of sorts to feel and process some of that on the other hand, it will drag down the overall quality of that work into something closer to a melancholy history crossed with a dinner party argument Therefore, despite its strengths, and despite the personal enjoyment and help that I have taken from the book at this particular time, I can t rate it asthan an above average read An intellectualized comfort read for introverted professionals, really, if such a specialized category really exists I can t rate it higher when I feel like one good scholarly journal review would take the whole theory down, especially when it feels like an argument for corporations to pay introvertsa lot of the time Nonetheless, a lot of interesting questions asked, a lot of self reflection inspired Recommended for my fellow introverts if you re at a place where you feel like something like I described above might be helpful to you at this time Otherwise, I d say you could skip it or just watch her TED talk instead

  5. says:

    Original review, Dec 29 2016 This book, which I had had recommended to me by many friends both on Goodreads and in real life, says plenty of useful and worthwhile things Using the words not quite in the sense common among academic psychologists, Susan Cain distinguishes between extroverts , whom she characterizes as loud, thick skinned people who prioritise social interaction, assertiveness and gregariousness, and introverts , quiet, thin skinned people who prioritise sensitivity, harmony anOriginal review, Dec 29 2016 This book, which I had had recommended to me by many friends both on Goodreads and in real life, says plenty of useful and worthwhile things Using the words not quite in the sense common among academic psychologists, Susan Cain distinguishes between extroverts , whom she characterizes as loud, thick skinned people who prioritise social interaction, assertiveness and gregariousness, and introverts , quiet, thin skinned people who prioritise sensitivity, harmony and understanding She points out that a third to a half of all people are introverts though many of them have learned how to masquerade successfully as extroverts, since American society encourages extrovert behavior to the point where many introverts feel there is something wrong with them Why do they prefer to sit and read a book when they could be out making useful business contacts Cain give reasons to believe that the difference between introversion and extroversion may well be related to underlying brain physiology, and hence beyond the individual s control Butimportantly, she argues that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being introverted Society needs sensitive, risk shy introverts just as much as it needs brash, risk tolerant extroverts In fact, it may need them .I find most of the above plausible, though I don t know enough about neurophysiology to be able to say how solid those parts are What disquiets me most is that the book needed to be written in the first place It seems to me to sayabout modern American society than it does about the differences between introverts and extroverts As Cain says, many societies she particularly singles out Asian societies do not place the same premium on extroverted behavior If you re an Asian teen, it s regarded as normal to spend your time studying rather than partying The same is true, though to a lesser extent, of many European societies Cain s approach is gentle and indirect, but she certainly succeeds in showing how grotesquely skewed the US has become When a member of an evangelical church says he is only interested in recruiting extroverted people and adds that he s sure Jesus was extroverted, I can t help feeling that something has gone horribly wrong Evenmemorably and presciently the book was published in 2012 , Cain asks at one point how America could have got the idea that the ideal personality type is that of a successful real estate salesman.How indeed ___________________Update, May 31 2018 A remarkable passage I just read in Gwendolyn Seidman s widely cited paper Self presentation and belonging on Facebook How personality influences social media use and motivations 2012 Extraversion is related to several belongingness related constructs Extraverts havefriends, higher quality friendships Asendorpf Wilpers, 1998 andsatisfying romantic relationships than introverts White, Hendrick, Hendrick, 2004 Thus, it is unsurprising that extraversion is associated with greater Facebook use Gosling, Augustine, Vazire, Holtzman, Gaddis, 2011 Wilson, Fornasier, White, 2010 andfriends Amichai Hamburger Vinitzky, 2010 Moore McElroy, 2012 Ryan Xenos, 2011

  6. says:

    Very interesting non fiction about introverts.Definitely could relate with a lot that was said and loved learningabout the advantages of it and how to deal with being an introvert

  7. says:

    What an affirmation While listening to this book, I was constantly reminded of Al Franken s Saturday Night Live character, Stuart Smalley, and his mantra,I m good enough, I m smart enough, and doggone it, people like meWell, those who understand me do Full disclosure, according to the Myers Briggs Personality Test, I m an ISFJ.There were so many points of affirmation for me things I intuitively knew Things I ve tried to share with others mostly to no avail This book supplies all the dat What an affirmation While listening to this book, I was constantly reminded of Al Franken s Saturday Night Live character, Stuart Smalley, and his mantra,I m good enough, I m smart enough, and doggone it, people like meWell, those who understand me do Full disclosure, according to the Myers Briggs Personality Test, I m an ISFJ.There were so many points of affirmation for me things I intuitively knew Things I ve tried to share with others mostly to no avail This book supplies all the data I need to support my case Unfortunately, I don t think the people who need to read listen this book extroverts will.The book is not an introverts are superior diatribe but rather an explanation of how we can leverage personality types most effectively There is no right or best personality type but like life in general, we need to understand each other forharmonious relationships Whether these relationships are family, work, or social, applications of understanding are documented throughout the book.There was one example in the book that hit particularly close to home Although SAT or IQ scores do not support it, people who talkare perceived as leaders And, which personality type talksExtroverts Now, assume that both extroverts and introverts have an equal amount of good ideas Who is going to get their wayExtroverts This could be dangerous because they re going to get their waymeaning that many of their bad ideas are also going to be implemented.Oh, another thing I intuitively knew but now have support for is brainstorming sessions Studies show the larger the number of people involved in a session, the less effective they are A 9 member group is less effective than a 6 member group which is less than effective than a 4 member group which is less effective than a 2 member group The suggestion is to conduct brainstorming sessions electronically Collect comments and then share them anonymously and build from there One of the reasons is that most introverts are better writers than speakers.Other examples from the business world give tips for how both introverted and extroverted leaders can best work with their subordinates of each type Take advantage of each of their strengths Such as how studies show that introverts inspect and extroverts react Neither adjective should be taken as derogatory but instead as strengths Allow introverts time to examine and solve Studies show they arepersistent trying to solve unsolvable problems The famous introvert, Albert Einstein said,It is not that I m so smart, it s just that I stay with problems longer. My hero.A final word on the narration fantastic If you have the opportunity to listen rather than read this book, I would strongly recommend going with the audio format Kathe Mazur does a perfect narration in a Quiet , calm, soothing voice Very appropriate in a noisy world that can t stop talking

  8. says:

    Quiet The Power of Introverts in a World That Can t Stop Talking is about being an introvert in today s society.Confession time I m a tremendous introvert I know you re all thinking something along the lines of What A guy who reads constantly and writes over a hundred book reviews a year is an introvert Shocking but true I could easily go days without human contact At parties, I m the guy hanging out near the food or snooping through the host s books or medicine cabinet I could go into Quiet The Power of Introverts in a World That Can t Stop Talking is about being an introvert in today s society.Confession time I m a tremendous introvert I know you re all thinking something along the lines of What A guy who reads constantly and writes over a hundred book reviews a year is an introvert Shocking but true I could easily go days without human contact At parties, I m the guy hanging out near the food or snooping through the host s books or medicine cabinet I could go intodetail but since I have a feeling most Goodreaders are also introverts, I ll skip it.Basically, the book is a flashing neon sign that says it s okay to be an introvert Susan Cain chronicles her own struggles as an introvert, as well as showing how America went from being about character to about personality, right around the time movies and TV started getting popular It covers introverts in all areas, like corporate America, and how introverts are treated in other societies There s a lengthy section on raising introvert kids, which a lot of parents could use instead of shoving their kids into the shark infested extrovert waters.Honestly, I could have used this book as a teenager, when people were constantly badgering me to go outScientific discoveries and works of art are rarely made by people who are constantly talking Cain covers topics like being an introvert in the business world, where people who talk the loudest get their wayoften than not, something I see every day in cubeland.Actually, the book gave me insight into the behavior of some of my family Until he retired, my dad was crabbier than Red Foreman all the time I used to think he was just an angry asshole but now I think he was an introvert with nowhere to unwind Now that he s retired, I see how much alike we are He s actually pretty friendly as long as the visits don t go too long Susan Cain s writing style is engaging I felt the repeated examples may have padded the book a bit While I felt validated by reading it, sometimes it felt like a book a kid named Matthew, who happened to be missing a finger, wrote about how nine fingered Matthews are the best at everything I liked it but most of what Cain says seemed pretty obvious There are no mind blowing revelations for introverts within I do recommend extroverts read it, however 3.5 out of 5 stars

  9. says:

    This is the first time in my life I m saying this I m so proud to be an introvert

  10. says:

    You can also read this review on Flying Kick a pow ReviewsThis is a bit different from what I typically read and review I don t often read non fiction, but when my mom got this out of the library and I read the inside flap, I knew I would have to give it a shot It sounded like something I could relate to and possibly benefit from and it was As soon as I started it, I was totally engrossed And as I made my way through the entire thing, I felt like I was learningandabout myself You can also read this review on Flying Kick a pow ReviewsThis is a bit different from what I typically read and review I don t often read non fiction, but when my mom got this out of the library and I read the inside flap, I knew I would have to give it a shot It sounded like something I could relate to and possibly benefit from and it was As soon as I started it, I was totally engrossed And as I made my way through the entire thing, I felt like I was learningandabout myself.My whole life I ve been an introvert I keep to myselfthan the people around me do I tend to prefer reading writing to partying I m very self conscious about speaking when I talk in front of a bunch of unfamiliar people, I stumble over my words and blush and feel like a moron hence, I usually opt not to speak at all unless someone forces me to and or speaks to me first.I ve grown used to labels like shy and quiet, to the rude questions like Can you talk , Do you speak English , and Have you been in this class the whole year The confrontations and notes from teachers professors are expected by now You need to speak upin class, Don t be shy etc Just thinking about it right now makes me want to punch a wall People act as if it s some magical switch I can turn on and off They think I don t talk much because I m incompetent, because I m lazy, because I m a bitch, because I think I m better than everyone else People who know me well can see I m none of those things at least, I hope I m not , but for a lot of people it seems to be a challenge to understand that It s not that I blame them, because I think it s hard to comprehend what it s like to be an introvert if you haven t experienced it yourself But still, it s frustrating.What makes being an introvert so hard is that especially in the US we are held up to what Susan Cain calls the Extrovert Ideal That is, we are told our whole lives that the ideal person is an extrovert outgoing, confident, well spoken, etc Extroverted people are thought of as beingimportant,authoritative, andattractive If you are a shy, you arelikely to be seen as weak, a pushover, a bad leader, an awkward unattractive person We re constantly told that in order to succeed, we need to stand up for ourselves, push others out of the way, be the loudest, take the most risks If you re a shy introverted person, you are constantly told that you need to change that if you continue to be quiet, you re never going to get anywhere in life You won t get a good job, you won t succeed, no one will want to date you you name it Needless to say, I hate being shy I m tired of always being told that I need to speak up , that I just have to beconfident It s like, do you think I want to be this way Do you think I enjoy not being able to say what I want to say, that I feel totally idiotic every time I open my mouth, that I don t even want people to look at me because I m so self conscious Trust me, if I could, I would beconfident If I could just shut off all the thoughts in my head, I would gladly speak upoften But I ve always felt like my brain just wasn t wired that way People act as if it s as easy as just speaking up, that the leap from being introverted to being extraverted is as easy as, You know what I m just not going to be shy today Yay And yeah It s not like that at all It s like, when I m surrounded by people I don t or only barely know, I just go on lockdown My mind doesn t generate things to say My mouth refuses to open I just completely freeze up And it s not that I don t want to participate in the conversation I wish talking was easy for me I do want to contribute Yet, there s this voice in my head telling me to not say anything, and to just sit back and observe.So, obviously, this is a very frustrating trait to have It holds me back in a lot of social situations I have trouble making friends although I do have friends, so don t worry I ve managed to live for two decades without ever having a boyfriend My grades have suffered So on and so forth.I ve struggled with this my whole life, I constantly beat myself up about it I ve always wondered what the hell was wrong with me Why couldn t I just magically gain some confidence Why couldn t I just suck it up and be asocial person I ve spent my whole life trying to find something to blame, some reason why I ve always been like this Is it because I m part of a large family, and therefore I ve always felt like I should just keep my problems to myself Is it because I grew up in such an academically competitive town where there was too much pressure to be the star student Of course, there must be various contributing factors But according to Cain s book, it may be dueto nature than to nurture than we may think.Cain discusses several studies that relate introversion extroversion to sensitivity And apparently, people withactive amygdalae a part of the brain that plays a significant role in processing memory and emotional reactions are farlikely to be introverts People fall roughly into two groups high reactive and low reactive If you are ahigh reactive individual, you arelikely to Reactstrongly to stimuli new sounds, meeting new people, seeing disturbing images, etc Beempathetic towards other people Be very observational, notice small details Reactemotionally to artwork music books etc Beprone to emotional problems like anxiety depression Be very sensitive about what other people think of you, and therefore become timid in social situations where you don t know many peopleThis isn t to say, of course, thatlow reactive people don t experience these things, it s just that it tends to happen on a lower scale for them because their amygdalae are not as sensitive Also, high reactive does not automatically equal introverted and low reactive doesn t automatically equal extroverted, but research suggests a strong correlation between the two traits But what s most important to realize about levels of reactivity is that they can t be controlled Cain discusses one study in which infants were tested for how reactive they were to stimuli and a majority of high reactive infants grew up to be introverts, while the low reactive infants tended to grow up to be extroverts It s studies such as these that suggest we don t choose introversion or extroversion they are built into our DNA One can easily fake one or the other That is, you can be an introvert and still speak a lot and socialize frequently it s just that, as an introvert, you will bedrained by social interaction Because introverts are oftenhigh reactive individuals and therefore reactstrongly to stimuli, a room of new faces is muchexhausting to process than it would be for someone who islow reactive I could go on and on about this, but of course if you want to learn , I highly suggest reading this book There s a lot of fascinating information about the subject Quiet seriously changed the way I think about myself I still dislike being shy and introverted for many reasons But after reading this, I also know that I might not have the same creative and observant traits that I have now, if I were extroverted instead Andimportantly, I know that it isn t my fault for being this way and that millions of people face the same struggle that I do I don t know if I can say that I really accept who I am, at least not yet But at least I feel like I understand it a lot better.Over all, I think this book is well written and well researched, and Cain narrates it with heart and humor drawing from her own experience as an introvert alongside her studies of the subject I thought Quiet was brilliant, and I recommend it to introverts and extroverts alike Flying Kick a pow Reviews

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